Merry Chrimbo and Happy New Year !!

[UBT - Timbo]

Hi all,

I'd just like to wish all team and forum members a Very Merry Christmas and a Peaceful and Prosperous New Year.

Thanks for all your hard work over the last 12 months...and hopefully, Santa will bring you all a nice new quad CPU PC....

And if he doesn't, please click

HERE

just to remind the old codger that you need some extra crunching hardware.

In the meantime, I've changed the default guest visitor "profile" to "snowSilver" as it has a great Xmas feel to it....please feel free to change your own "profile" if you want to get into the festive spirit on the forum.

best regards

Tim

[melter65]

Dear David,

It is not often I get a Christmas letter from the childrens grownup dad.

I am pleased that you have been quite good and you will receive Quad CPU PC, PS3, and a Laptop in your Christmas stocking this year!

I shall be very busy delivering everyones presents on Christmas Eve, but I hope that I will arrive arrive on my sleigh in Sheffield at about midnight. Please don't forget to hang up your Christmas stocking for me, and make sure that you are fast asleep; absolutely no peeking is allowed!!

Thank you for offering to leave out the mince pies and sherry for me and the carrots and hay for my reindeer! It is very hard work making sure everyone gets their presents on time, and we all get quite cold and hungry flying through the dark winter skies, so we really do appreciate some nice refreshments to help keep us going.

With best regards,
Father Christmas

This might just work! See my reply from the Big Man?    :lol:  :lol:

A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all UBT peeps and their Families!!

[UBT - Timbo]

I shall be very busy delivering everyones presents on Christmas Eve, but I hope that I will arrive on my sleigh in Sheffield at about midnight.

I think he might have a diary clash as he told me:

I shall be very busy delivering everyones presents on Christmas Eve, but I hope that I will arrive on my sleigh in Cambridge at about midnight.

So, what's going on???

Surely, he can't get from Cambridge to Sheffield in a nano-second (or vice versa)...and besides which the M11 and M1 aren't going to be empty, just so he can get up some speed...speaking of which: What happens if the reindeers break the 70mph speed limit and/or Santa is breath tested after drinking all that sherry....I can just imagine PC Plod listening to Santa's "story"....

PC Plod: OK Santa, what's going on and where are you going at such a pace? - do you know how fast you were going? and have you been drinking?

Santa: I'm off to see some young children, and I'll be breaking into their bedrooms to leave them a little present, while they are asleep. I'll obviously be taking a break between homes, so I'll have some sherry and then I'll get on my sleigh, having "borrowed" some reindeer from the local pet sanctuary. And yes, I am wearing a "hoodie" because I have to go very fast, and I don't want to get cold ears....and yes, I did pay for all these presents myself....I've got the receipts somewhere...and no, the sleigh is exempt from Road Fund Tax.....and I've left my drivers licence and insurance details at home.....

PC Plod: You're nicked!!!

regards

Tim

[UBT - mickyb69]

Merry xmas to all the team ,Ive asked santa if i can have a quad but might have to settle for a dual core  :lol:
Heres the norad tracker
http://www.noradsanta.org/%20-%205k%20-


Merry Christmas Mickyb!

Thank you for sending me your email all the way from Nuneaton!   The Net sure is wonderful, because now I can get emails even when I'm in my sleigh delivering presents Christmas Eve!!

Hey, look what I found in my mailbox!Well tickle my whiskers, Mickyb!  Are you fibbing to ol' Santa Claus?!?  You can't possibly be 38 years old already!  Why it seems like only yesterday that I was leaving presents for a certain little boy and here you are now, practically one of Santa's elves! (*grin*)

Sorry the presents the last little while probably haven't been quite as exciting as they were when you were a little boy but, well, you know how these things go (*wink*).  Anyway, Santa's glad to see some of the 'older kids' (not to mention anyone in particular!) still take the time to write.  I also hear you've been a REALLY REALLY good boy.  (HO!! Ho!! ho!! at least that's what it says on my list right here at the front of the sleigh!).

Let's see what you put in your letter for Christmas wishes: 1. quad core bundle; 2. bottle of vodka and; 3. packet of fags.  HO!! Ho!! ho!!  Those ARE good presents!!  The elves have packed everything they possibly could into the sleigh, but we can never get all the presents in that we would like (after all, there are a lot of good boys and girls around the world) so I hope you won't be too upset with me if you don't get everything you want for Christmas.

Well, Santa has a lot more presents to deliver tonight so I better go.  Rudolph's nose is shining especially brightly this year (I think its because the children of the world voted for him to guide the sleigh!).  Santa should have the presents delivered in record time this year... which is a REALLY good thing because he still has to wrap his presents for Mrs. Claus!!  HO!! Ho!! ho!!

Take care Mickyb and remember to leave out some of those wonderful treats because Father Christmas is on his way to *your* home tonight!

Merry Christmas To All And To All A Good Night!

Father Christmas

[UBT-mark3346]

Heres the norad tracker
http://www.noradsanta.org/%20-%205k%20-

Hate to shatter some illusions but the Norad Tracker is a fake







Santa has had stealth technology for years  :D


One for the kids
http://www.everyclick.com/santaswing.html

[UBT - mickyb69]

Yeh but there's people posted all around the world with high powered walkie talkies telling Norad when they see Rudlolfs big shiny nose go past.

[Sir Cracked of the Mind]

Yo! Bloody Yo! Ho! Ho!


I'm at work..................

[melter65]

I can just imagine PC Plod listening to Santa's "story"....

PC Plod: OK Santa, what's going on and where are you going at such a pace? - do you know how fast you were going? and have you been drinking?

Santa: I'm off to see some young children, and I'll be breaking into their bedrooms to leave them a little present, while they are asleep. I'll obviously be taking a break between homes, so I'll have some sherry and then I'll get on my sleigh, having "borrowed" some reindeer from the local pet sanctuary. And yes, I am wearing a "hoodie" because I have to go very fast, and I don't want to get cold ears....and yes, I did pay for all these presents myself....I've got the receipts somewhere...and no, the sleigh is exempt from Road Fund Tax.....and I've left my drivers licence and insurance details at home.....

PC Plod:How much have you had to drink, exactly?!!!!

Santa:Well.........Not much, really!!

PC Plod:C'mon, if you can't be honest I'll have to breathalize you!

Santa:Well, I've not been counting, but roughly, 123,967,099 glasses of Sherry and 321,659,000 glasses of Whiskey!

PC Plod:F*ck Me!!!!

 :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

[Rockinfroggi]

Bah Bloomin Humbug,

Merry Christmas to one and all


Gary.

[UBT - PennyQ]

Ditto (except for the bah humbug bit!)

[UBT - Rick Horn]

Dear Father Christmas.

Thanks a bunch for the "quad you asked for".
Knowing full well that  I`m into computers, didn't you think for a moment that I meant a quad core computer, rather than quad bike you tried to stuff down the chimney? And did you really think that you could get it down intact without ripping out my gas fire?
How much sherry did Melter65 leave out for you!!!
Don`t suppose I`ll see you again until next Christmas, but please get it right next time man!

Yours...Disgruntled cruncher.